Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
