We won't sleep together?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
