Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
