I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
