we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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