I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
