I can text with my tongue
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
