Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
