Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
