Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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