i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
