Do you still have your period?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
