I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
