Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
