If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Randomize
