There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
