once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
