he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
