I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
