I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
