If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
