But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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