oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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