Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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