i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
