This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
