writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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