Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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