I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
