alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
