we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
