I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I believe in your delicious
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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