i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
