Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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