The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
