Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
we're so committed to being not committed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
