I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
