True but thats because hes a fetus.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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