i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
