Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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