So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
