I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
