You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
