Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
