We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
