bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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