We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
