you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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