I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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