My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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