Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i came on her dog
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
