Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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