I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
