I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
